Together Always – Sabrina’s Story 

Raminder (Ram) and her husband Amrit (Alex) had not left Sabrina’s side since their arrival at the hospice three days earlier.  The single sized bed for Sabrina meant it was challenging to cuddle in comfort with her daughter for long periods, but the room provided a couch and window seat that allowed Ram and Alex both to sleep in the room with Sabrina. On that Sunday morning, Maya, their youngest daughter, and her husband Conor came into the room and recognized the need for the parents to have a chance to get a break. 

Maya said to them,  Mum and Dad, go get a cup of tea, take a moment together…Conor and I will stay with Sabrina and we promise to come and get you if anything changes, you are just down the hall, don’t worry. 

Just down the hall was a space where they prepared a cup of tea and sat by a fireplace sharing its warmth on that early February morning. They knew this was needed – but worried, as parents do. 

Worrying about if you will miss the moment when your daughter takes her final breath, the moment that building new memories stops. 

They were only a few minutes sipping their tea when Maya came into the room…Mum, Dad … it’s her breathing, it’s changed. 

They returned to Sabrina’s room. Her mum cuddled with her in her bed, Maya and Conor were at the bedside, and her dad was holding her hand.  Her mum whispered to her,  

“Sabrina, you have had a hard journey, we all love you so much, you can go now…be brave.”   

It was peaceful at that moment when Sabrina took her final breath. We knew that she was where she wanted to be. She chose to live her life to the fullest by choosing a hospice centre to spend her final days.  

Sabrina cared deeply for her family.  They did everything together and she wanted to ensure that she left them with positive memories. After 15 years of battling cancer, Sabrina was receiving care and sleeping in the family living room as she could no longer use the stairs to reach her own bedroom.   

The family room was a special place to their family, a place of celebrations, playing games, sharing life’s special moments together, including a wedding. She did not want it to be the place her family would remember her dying. She wanted to live every moment of her life to its fullest and help her family to do the same. 

Ram remembers when she first heard from Arati, the Hospice Counsellor, that Sabrina wanted to spend her final days at a hospice centre. 

“When Arati told me Sabrina had chosen to spend her final days at a hospice, I did not know what to say.  I had been her nurse, her caregiver, and it was normal in our culture to die in the home, and I did not realize at that time the gift Sabrina was giving to me, to us” 

Ram quickly did some research online and learned that there were two hospice centres in neighbouring cities but was shocked and disappointed to know that there was not a dedicated hospice centre in Mississauga.   

“It was challenging to know that we had to commute from our home in North-West Mississauga to South-West Toronto for care, but we knew this was her choice and it was a chance for us to all be together as a family,” shared Ram. 

Once we arrived, we knew Sabrina had made a thoughtful choice.

Hospice centres are special places as they are more home-like and differ from a hospital environment. Hospice centres are focused not only on the pain and symptom management, but the emotional and social elements of care that provide an opportunity for creating memories. The family was able to bring in many personal items that were meaningful to Sabrina to ensure the already home-like setting felt even more so.  Family and friends were able to visit and there were no restrictions on being able to be with Sabrina, no call bells or alarms going off – it was peaceful. 

The family had time to reflect together on memories of the past and the recent marriage of Maya and Conor the month before in the family room of their home.  A relationship that was introduced through Sabrina during her time working in New York after graduating University. “ Sabrina knew we were right for each other” said Maya.

“Conor was Sabrina’s roommate in her company sponsored accommodation in New York…she knew we would be perfect together and I really wanted her to be the maid of honour at my wedding, so we made arrangements to get married in our family room at our family home.” – Maya

Sabrina was always caring for others throughout her life despite the challenges she faced after being diagnosed with Astrocytoma at the age of 17.  Two brain surgeries, three rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, genome-testing and experimental treatment were all part of her journey.  Despite all this, she had a dream career and kept her focus clearly on the family and its togetherness.

“When I look back on it, Sabrina’s choice of the hospice was a gift to us all.  She allowed us to let go of our responsibilities as caregivers and for those final days be what we always were, family.  Focused on simply being with each other, loving each other and being 100% present in the moment”  shares Ram. 

The family celebrated Sabrina’s life by sharing her ashes with nature, sharing their resources to help support the cancer hospital that provided treatment to Sabrina, and most recently, with the Hospice Centre that provided the compassionate specialized care that allowed the family to be together, fully, until the end. 

Ram and her family are committed to ensuring that this experience, this opportunity for people to have this amazing care is available in Mississauga.   

Ram is engaged with Hospice Mississauga as a wellness volunteer sharing her gifts of yoga and reiki with individuals and caregivers.  She continues to share her gifts forward, knowing Sabrina would be proud of her continued support of others so they can spend their time, together.